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Marriage is never and should never be about percentages. There should be nothing mathematical about your relationship.

It is not 50-50 0r 60-40 or anything remotely close. It is not about one person completing the other person.

If you are not complete, please don’t get married.

Marriage and relationship is and must be about two whole, well-rounded individuals coming together to continue their journies and growth and learning together. Building each other up. Loving each other, with mutual respect and support.

Men, stop panicking when you hear the word gender equality. It gives you more power than you realise because it gives you a woman who you can respect, not only because she accepted to marry you, but also because as she fulfils her purpose, she will make your heart swell with pride and the rest of the world will respect your team more. Do you remember the part about Prov 31, where people will call her husband “blessed”? Allow yourself to enjoy the privileges and blessings of being the star husband of a star wife. Celebrate your wife who is working hard in any field, whether it be to help and support you or just because she desires to walk in her purpose. 

Women, gender equality does not mean you become a man, it means you get a platform to discover and do more of your God-given purpose. It means that you must do more and be more and that is some huge responsibility. This responsibility does not entail relegating your husband to nothing just because you are equal. You must know to let your husband be all that God has called him to be, and to fulfil his calling as a husband and father. Allow your husband to be a husband after God’s own heart. Quit interfering in his responsibilities unless, of course you have been expressly asked to do so, or circumstances have imposed it on you. And even if this be the case, understand that the fact that you can meet certain responsibilities does not make you a man.

There are so many things a man can do that a woman can not do, and there are many other a woman can do and a man can’t do.

Even if you think you can physically do them, does that mean you should? There are things you are better suited to do. Find them and do them and let your partner do the same.

You will get into trouble if you try to belittle, disrespect, or to ignore who your spouse is or what he or she does. You will be destroying your relationship if you are constantly berating and battering the person you married. And when you hurt your spouse, you will end up getting hurt, possibly even more. The truth is that in a relationship, any thing you throw out will end up exploding right in your face. So, be careful what you disseminate… It will only multiply.

Marry someone you trust and trust the person you married. Love the person you married. Value the person you married. Respect the person you married. Have each other’s back.

The two of you must understand that if one is stronger in any area, he or she should hold the hands of the other and grow together.

And, if your partner is stronger than you in any area, you should allow your hands to be held and let yourself be taught.

Men, drop your egos and that baseless hint at wounded pride.

Women, stop the pettiness and the noise.

Meekly serve each other with your strengths and grow together in your areas of weakness.

In your marriage and relationship, be naked and be not ashamed (with each other). And then, lovingly and gently cover each other’s nakedness before the rest of the world.