The trouble with judging people: Sonna 2
As soon as I made up my mind about Sonna, I was quick to decide not to be bothered by anything she does or doesn’t do. I kept a straight face whenever I ran into her in the elevator, which luckily for me became difficult.
Two weeks ago, another client who ad previously worked directly with her shared her story.
“Sonna has cancer, terminal cancer”, she said.
I was shocked. She doesn’t really look ill to me, I was about to say. Then I realised that I had never really taken a proper look at her. I only met her the previous year, so I couldn’t really tell.
Paula went on to explain that Sonna had been fighting the cancer for almost 10 years. She has 2 children who were very young when she was diagnosed and given that she herself had lost her Mum at a very young age to cancer as well, she decided to fight, to hold on to life for as long as she could, just so her kids wouldn’t have to go through all that she went through.
I was also informed that her sister also had cancer.
She has had a number of Chemotherapy and a lot of surgeries. She has to go to the hospital every morning at 5:00am to get an injection that will help her throughout the day. She prefers to do that early in the morning so that she can be able to make it to work. She has decided to continue working working till her last breath because that is how she wants her children to remember her. She carries her medication around with her everywhere because from time to time, she has a crisis and it’s important that that someone around should know what to do.
She is determined to maintain her job, and in the company, because, she has somehow acquired a comfortable and flexible schedule which allows her time to go to hospitals, take days off if need be or just not stress herself too much.
There were lots of other things I was told about Sonna, her situation and her struggle.
There and then, I not only felt sorry for her, I also felt terribly ashamed of myself for ever having judged her.
There are some who told me that her situation and difficulties does not excuse her poor behaviour, but then I thought, neither does her poor behaviour justify my own.
I am not a judgemental person. I usually don’t judge, and I try to consciously make the required effort never to find myself judging other.
Nonetheless, sometimes we all find ourselves in situations that stretches our common sense and we make the mistake of reacting in ways that are inexcusable to say the least.